This and That

There are moments in everyone's life that one feels alone but this feeling is rather ackward. When I was in my teens I remember singing along to the song "All By Myself...don't wanna be". I was a lonely child growing up because I was the only daughter born to my hardworking single mother. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would one day be surrounded by a loving family of my own. For years it was just me and mom. Now I find myself having married with four grownup sons. Two of which now have lovely wives. One who now has given us a grandson. I am blessed to say the least. Yet, I find myself alone again. The boys are men now with their busy lives and hubby still works so I'm back to me and mom again in our hundred year old home. It's funny. Mom is now eighty-three and I'm fifty-five. Where did the years go? You might say well you have your mom? I chuckle at that thought because my mom is an energizer bunny and hits the road everyday.

There was one night that a group of us moms got together with our teen kids. It was more a social outing for them to meet each other. We were discussing how our teens can really be horrible at times. Then one mom mentioned how the alien invades our kids around the age of twelve. I sort of chuckled with this theory but after raising four sons, I'm here to agree with her. Wow, when my youngest son was thirteen, things were just not going well. He was like a hermit and seemed extremely miserable. I'd tell him son; nothing is keeping you here in this house in that room. Go on a bike ride, go somewhere, do something! But he would just play video games on and on. It really was a strange time for him. This lasted quite a long time and as time went by so was the weight. He wouldn't move so the weight was creeping on. I could tell he was miserable but as a mom there is so much you can do. I even took him to the doctor. Of course the doctor gave his medical advise and many U.S.

So happens a couple of years back I became a Kdrama lover. Yep, they are so enjoyable to watch. I began this love due to the fact that my daughter-in-law (who I fondly feel is a daughter), who is half Korean and half Guamanian (from Guam). I think I may never have discovered Kdramas, kimchi and rice cakes. Oh, I love red bean rice cakes. Back to the Kdramas. They move my whole being. I was sharing with my son the other day at the dinner table that they make me "feel" again. For many years, I didn't want to feel anything. Life can be overwhelming at times and I learned to shield myself by numbing my thoughts. What I mean is I just began to NOT feel because if I did it would hurt too much. Not that I have a horrible life. As a matter of fact, I am blessed. I have a loving husband and four great sons who really haven't caused me much grief. Oh, they are not perfect but they really are good guys inside and out. Two years back when I began watching my first Kdrama wa

      I love being 55. If my 20 year old self would know what I know now, I could of saved myself a lot of stress and unhappiness. At this age you have a whole different perspective on life even though I can't stand what I see in the mirror such as grey hairs, wrinkles and the extra pounds. I am all more at peace today then before.

      Listening to the radio while washing dishes. The song, "Have you ever loved a woman?" The lyrics , "Can you see your unborn children in her eyes?" popped out at me. How endearing. I've always told my sons when they thought of marriage, can you see her as the mother of your children?     This is my son's wife with their first born baby boy. Look at her eyes.   

     Special Thanks to my Lord and Savior for providing me financially this past 2015 with all my needs. I had asked him on Jan. 1, 2015, how was I going to get through so many family events in one year. It really was a stellar year for us. We had a baby shower, wedding shower, birth of grandchild, and wedding; not to mention two graduations too. All I can say is GOD is real and He proved it to me that HE will provide for ALL your needs. Know this in 2016 if you are struggling financially to trust in Him. Be expecting a blessing this year. 2015 was a stellar year!

     Didn't get to bed till 2:30 a.m. last night. Was tired after a day of decorating and cooking. But it was all worthwhile. We have for many, many years now hosting an Open House for friends and family. It began when my mom and I would spend it alone. Got to thinking why? She would say that all her friends would stay home and be alone. We then decided to do something just for fun. It has now become a tradition. We have had many people come through our home; young and old, every ... New Year's Eve. I have a friend named Eva who actually comes every year for almost 20 years now. Every year we never know if people we invite will come but it is an awesome surprise when they do. I so do miss my Tio Isabel, Tia Alicia, and Tia Lala, they were faithful attenders to this event but now they celebrate in heaven with the Lord. Hope your New Year's Eve was a good one. Have a wonderful 2016!!!

          A strange thing is happening when I wake up in the mornings. I hear Korean words that linger in my brain after sleeping during the night. It's weird. I don't know what they mean but the dialect is in there, since I listen to Kdramas everyday. I have a few words I've learned by hearing it so much. Actually I learned Spanish at the age of twelve by watching Telenovelas with my mom. But was able to express it faster since I had my grandma and aunts who spoke it. I may never speak fluent Korean but I can catch the dialect when someone speaks it. In Corpus, there were a group of women fishing, I knew it was Korean; not Chinese or Japanese. My corner store is own by a Korean and his family speaks it. I pass by them and catch a few words. I have always found it amazing how a person can learn six languages. Wow! How many can you speak?

Oakley, Before you were born, you were loved. Mom and dad were told by the doctors that we all had to get a shot. It was the whopping cough shot by the initials Dtap. Actually, this was the first sign that we all loved you before you came to us on June 8, at 6:30 p.m. Many got the shot early and others in the family waited right before the week you were born. Many were brave and others feared the shot. But we all did because we wanted to keep you safe. When Tio Jesse heard that mom and dad were going to the hospital on June 7 at 4 p.m. He wanted to be there till you arrived. Tio Jesse was really anxious to see you. The day he heard the news you were in mom's belly was the highlight of his life. As months would pass, Tio Jesse would rub your moms belly hoping to see if you would kick but nothing. You were always still when Tio Jesse wanted to feel you move. Mom and Dad were very proud of you. They announced you with this picture. You are the baby pumpkin. Mom would giv