The Real Struggle











I'm really struggling this week to get up and go. If it weren't for working hours, I'd stay in bed ALL day. I do attribute some of my slack due to a bug I had for a few days. Monday I woke up barely speaking. As an English Online Teacher, this is not acceptable. I had to figure a way to get my voice back. So I reached for the salt to do the traditional remedy and gargle. It worked some for that day. However, I still needed something else so I used the Chloroseptic spray to do another class. By my third class, I was sucking on a cough drop. That did the trick!

I'm sure many of you out there have so many wonderful homemade remedies for a scratchy throat. I think I tried them all. I muddled through it.

But there still was something gnawing at me. I've found myself truly depressed this week. Not feeling well didn't help but feeling like I just want to bawl my eyes out was a sign something isn't right in the brain.

I shared with my wonderful husband who always has a listening ear and shares great words of wisdom. However, this time the reality of his words saddened me more. I've always thought the positive of the human race but lately, I've just been more aware of people's behaviors these days.

I really haven't had a friend just pick up the phone and ask, "How are you doing?" I suppose with all this technology that's too much trouble. These days people text, email, and post. At times I feel no human relationship anymore. So my struggle with depression is two-fold now with no one to share my joys and sorrows with.

You might think well, it's a two-way process. True, I can blame it on myself but I know I've done so much for so many people and still feel terribly alone. My hubby said, "Well, hon, this is the way the world is. I've come to just accept it. I reach out when I can to help others and just don't expect anything in return."

I guess asking a person to call you once in ten years is asking too much, huh?

I suppose I will continue the occasional posts on FB. Clicking the like and hearts to reach out to everyone else is what I can continue doing.  It's not like I haven't tried spending time with them but I figure we are all too busy now to take the time and pick up the phone and just talk. sigh




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