Letting Go Is Hard to Do
I'm having a difficult time this week. My twenty-seven year old has decided to move out of the house. Most would say, "Well, he should of been gone a long time ago." However, culturally Hispanics stay home till they marry. At least that was in the dark ages so it seems.
My son has been living in a six by eight room shich is more like a walk in closet (maybe smaller) for almost twenty years now. I am happy he's decided to take the plunge into life because he lived a hermit like life.
It saddens me to say he has no friends. But as a mother, one cannot force someone that age to do much of anything but encourage. When he was working at the Toyota plant, we hardly saw him. He was actually working sixty hours a week. Then on top of things they would do rotational hours; two weeks during the day and two weeks night shift. How did they expect normal people to survive that rigorous schedule. I think it was a plot to have a constant turnover of employees so they didn't have to pay other costs. Who knows but that was utterly ridiculous. I was happy he decided to quit because he was becoming skin and bone again.
My son has a mental disorder. He was diagnosed schizophernic paranoid about five years back. It was a horrible night. I just blame myself so many times because I should of seen the signs and taken him sooner to a doctor.
He's a great guy and functions very well as long as he's on his meds. I have struggled with this for a long time and even avoid saying the word "schizophrenia". I'd rather tell people he is paranoid.
One of his issues is he cannot be hugged for long periods of time. Actually he has no problem receiving hugs from his father and brothers but will not fully hug me. Rather it is a side hug. So his leaving was difficult because I couldn't hug him the way I so wanted to.
He's left home with about two months of rent paid for. I am worried for him if he will eat. But frankly, I think it's more that I want him to succeed in living on his own so that he can build confidence and live life to his fullest potential. Living in that closet room wasn't living. I'm proud he's ventured out with the odds against him but knowing he is trying is all that matters.
Even if he fails and has to come back home (which I'm rooting that he won't), he can start again. This was a major step for him.
I love my son (tears in my eyes) and that's why letting go is so hard to do.
My son has been living in a six by eight room shich is more like a walk in closet (maybe smaller) for almost twenty years now. I am happy he's decided to take the plunge into life because he lived a hermit like life.
It saddens me to say he has no friends. But as a mother, one cannot force someone that age to do much of anything but encourage. When he was working at the Toyota plant, we hardly saw him. He was actually working sixty hours a week. Then on top of things they would do rotational hours; two weeks during the day and two weeks night shift. How did they expect normal people to survive that rigorous schedule. I think it was a plot to have a constant turnover of employees so they didn't have to pay other costs. Who knows but that was utterly ridiculous. I was happy he decided to quit because he was becoming skin and bone again.
My son has a mental disorder. He was diagnosed schizophernic paranoid about five years back. It was a horrible night. I just blame myself so many times because I should of seen the signs and taken him sooner to a doctor.
He's a great guy and functions very well as long as he's on his meds. I have struggled with this for a long time and even avoid saying the word "schizophrenia". I'd rather tell people he is paranoid.
One of his issues is he cannot be hugged for long periods of time. Actually he has no problem receiving hugs from his father and brothers but will not fully hug me. Rather it is a side hug. So his leaving was difficult because I couldn't hug him the way I so wanted to.
He's left home with about two months of rent paid for. I am worried for him if he will eat. But frankly, I think it's more that I want him to succeed in living on his own so that he can build confidence and live life to his fullest potential. Living in that closet room wasn't living. I'm proud he's ventured out with the odds against him but knowing he is trying is all that matters.
Even if he fails and has to come back home (which I'm rooting that he won't), he can start again. This was a major step for him.
I love my son (tears in my eyes) and that's why letting go is so hard to do.
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